Rubbed my eyes and woke up from my dreams, sharp sunlight pierced through my window, and cut my sight for a second. Opened my eyes and realized, i did not see your face this time when i closed my eyes. Walking from my bed with a bed-sheet covering me, did not remember me of your shirt over me. Picking a single cup from the showcase to make a morning coffee, that day, did not remember me of the couple cups served us everyday. My elixir tasted to its true bitterness, instead your sweet words mixed in it. Switching on the geezer outside the bathroom wall, did not remind me of already heated water awaiting me in my tub along with you. Water from the shower seemed better now, when you’re not behind me hugging me and tugging with my hair. Changing in my bedroom, was now comfortable, than you helping me choose outfits to be worn.
Disconnecting my mobile from the charging port did not remind me of your texts, that wishes me “good morning honey, breakfast`s ready”. Walking to the dining room on my own, felt better when your foot weren’t carrying me, and your hands weren’t clutching mine. Though the table was forlorn, today the dishes seemed to be friendly, which did not tell me how cute i look, or how stubborn i behave to avoid a extra piece of bread. Song playing in my earphones did actually not belong to the play-list named after you, but this time i could understand and sing along the lyrics. My mother walking up to me, calling me for shopping did not seem to be funny anymore, in fact felt sensible. Carrying my hand bag on my own shoulders, instead depending on your wallet at the counters, felt strengthening to myself.
Your name from my parents`s tongue, seemed strange, though was in a positive conservation, as i wonder, my eyes did not shed a million this time. Locking the doors behind and carrying the keys, reminded me that my house’s keys were actually buckled to a pink teddy, and not to any Mercedes like yours. Getting into the car without, you opening the doors for me, was also comfortable, than unnecessarily holding my hands with yours.
My ride was slow and smooth unlike yours, which was accompanied with tight hugs and screams. The mall was quite, and empty, without my hands interlocked with yours.
A tap on my back, everything changed suddenly, my hands shivered and a sense of scarce ran down my spine. A bright voice from behind wished me ‘Good Morning`. No, it wasn’t you, but i wish it was. He was that guy in white coat, scaring me in my nightmares, and calling me a “mentally retarded case”, my mother swiped my handbag off me, freeing my sweaty palms. Tears flowed from my mother`s eyes, her hands adjusting strands of my hair. The mall turned into a dark room with few other girls in white frocks, each holding a tray in their hands, with cotton and few stuff i couldn’t recognize. They were all similar to the guy causing my nightmares, and were all discussing about me, their eyes filled of cruelty and still some pity towards me.
Yes, i do remember, the day we took our last walk, from the park back home. My head leaning on your shoulders, while one of your hands were wrapped around my waist, the other playing with strands of my hair, unlike adjusting them like my mother did a while ago. Stepping off the divider, while telling you about the new song that’s added to my play-list named after you. you drove your hand off my hair and shut my mouth close, there spoke your tongue “I LOVE YOU”, that immediately broke a smile on my face, even before i could reply, a sharp honk from the noise around caught my attention, and my hands hurt as you pushed me back to the divider. It took me a while to get high on my foot, and soon landed on my knees before you, picking your head onto my laps, my eyes widened when i saw your blood pass below me, you still spoke “I LOVE YOU”.
smiles were all shattered, dreams dropped, heart broken, destination altered, designation dropped, skies covered in dark, clouds roared, sunlight hid from my sight along with its source, waves in the sea paused, birds humming, green leaves from the trees around screaming, throat tugging, senses sliced, and my mind faded off to our first date and our first walk by the beach, first coffee, first film together and our first quarrel, cricket matches and barbie shoes, shopping bills and high heals, park benches and rough rides, late night ice creams and early morning text messages, surprises and slow kisses, hugs and high talks, plans and preparations, crimes together…..everything splashed and fronted a smile on my face.
I woke up on a hospital bed, my family around me, the one who never accepted us together, was now caring so much for me, as was alone then. you mean the world to me, still when they said you’re no more, my eyes didn’t cry, but my face put a smile furnished from all the pain in my heart.
And now everyone calls me a mad, mentally retarded case, but all i still remember is the play-list that was named after you. Even now i don’t care the world’s word but thine, i live for ‘Me’ and the “You” in ‘Me’. Singing all the songs in the list with perfect lyrics saved in my mind every night just cuz` you said you love my voice and want to hear me singing all night to your ears.
I’ve written about many true love stories, but nothing made me feel the way I felt by this. All the posts on my wall are true incidents of people in my life, and so is this.
Wish the girl heals back soon In time.
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